Custody determinations are an understandably emotional and stressful process. Even when parents choose to work together for their children’s benefit, issues and conflicts can occur. Both parents want what is right for their children, but they may not agree on what that is. These disagreements can be even more severe and significant when parents are already in conflict. In high-conflict custody cases, a Metro East custody attorney is crucial for protecting your interests.
What Is a High-Conflict Custody Case?
There are many types of high-conflict custody cases, often characterized by high levels of disagreement between spouses, accusations of dangerous behavior, litigation, and/or high emotional intensity. These issues can make it difficult or unreasonable for spouses to find out-of-court solutions for custody. A custody case may be more contentious due to:
- Claims of domestic violence, abuse, child endangerment, mental instability, or substance abuse
- Requiring resolution through litigation
- Harassment or stalking
- An inability to co-parent effectively
- An inability of either co-parent to communicate, compromise, or reach any favorable conclusion outside of court
- Hidden assets by one or both spouses
- Complicated financial issues
- Highly emotional arguments
- Multiple court dates needed to resolve issues
- Either co-parent having a serious criminal record
High-conflict cases frequently cause parents to lose focus on the well-being of their children. Co-parents may be more focused on arguing than their children’s interests.
What Can You Expect in a High-Conflict Custody Case?
A high-conflict custody case is generally lengthy, expensive, and stressful. If you expect a custody case to be litigated and contentious, you need to emotionally prepare yourself and find legal representation. Low-conflict and speedy custody determinations are easiest on children, but this isn’t always possible. It’s important to do what you can to limit the consequences of a high-conflict case and protect your children’s well-being.
How Can You Win a High-Conflict Custody Case?
In a high-conflict custody case, it can often be detrimental to be focused on winning the case. Ideally, neither parent ends up winning or losing, and both parties get to spend fulfilling and meaningful time with their children. This is unfortunately not always possible in a high-conflict case, particularly when one or both parents do not provide for a child’s needs or place them in danger. It is crucial to always protect your children’s interests, so focus on this rather than winning against your co-parent.
The most effective way to get a beneficial outcome in a high-conflict custody case is to work with a skilled and experienced custody and family law attorney. They can help you determine the lowest-conflict method of resolving your case. They can also protect your and your children’s needs if the case must go to court. If you are afraid for your children’s well-being with your co-parent, an attorney can help you present and prove these concerns to the court.
How Can You Cope With a High-Conflict Custody Case?
You can only control your own behavior and reactions, but it is not always possible to eliminate all conflicts this way. While it is usually better for parents to find a solution for the care of their children together, this is not always possible or safe. Because you cannot control how your co-parent acts, it’s important to take steps to protect yourself and your mental well-being. You can do this by:
- Focusing on your child’s interests above all else
- Keeping your children away from disputes
- Documenting your interactions with your co-parent
- Cooperating with temporary court orders
- Setting boundaries for when and how you interact with your co-parent
- Attending recommended or required parenting classes and therapy
- Finding a support network of friends, family, and professionals
- Establishing coping methods
- Keeping communication respectful and businesslike
- Finding legal representation
FAQs
Q: What Should You Not Say During a Custody Battle?
A: You should not disparage your spouse or co-parent during a custody battle. Important concerns should always be voiced, such as a parent being unable to provide for a child’s needs, child endangerment, and signs of abuse or domestic violence.
However, petty anger at your co-parent has no place in court, and you should not express it to your children or in public. While it is normal to have some negative feelings toward your co-parent, it should remain private. Serious accusations should be presented with the gravity they require by your attorney.
Q: How Can You Deal With a Nasty Custody Battle?
A: Dealing with a nasty custody battle isn’t easy, but it is important to take care of yourself and your family, primarily by keeping your children away from the main conflict. Lowering the conflict as much as possible can help, including by working with an attorney and settling the case outside of court. Having a support network for yourself can help you cope with the stressors of a custody battle. A support network and mental health professionals can also be very beneficial for protecting your children’s well-being.
Q: What Is Considered an Unfit Parent in Illinois?
A: An unfit parent in Illinois is one who is unable to provide for a child’s needs, puts a child in danger, or harms their child. An unfit parent is not granted custody, and they may receive limited or no visitation rights. An unfit parent can also have their parental rights terminated. Illinois courts may consider a parent unfit for:
- Abandonment of their child
- A lack of interest in or responsibility for their child’s well-being
- Substantial or repeated neglect of their child
- Desertion of their child for at least three months
- Extreme cruelty toward their child
Q: What Is a High-Conflict Custody Case?
A: A high-conflict custody case can refer to many types of argumentative or contentious relationships between separating parents. Some of the common reasons why a custody case is considered high-conflict include:
- Parents cannot reach any agreement or resolution outside of court.
- One or both spouses are purposefully dragging out the case.
- There are allegations of abuse, domestic violence, substance abuse, or other causes of unfit parentage.
- One or both spouses have a serious criminal history.
- Spouses refuse to cooperate.
- Spouses harass and stalk each other outside of court.
Finding the Right Legal Counsel for Your Custody Case
Experienced and skilled legal counsel can help you manage a serious custody case. Contact Stange Law Firm today to see how we can support your family.
