Many spouses gravitate toward divorce mediation as a fast and less costly method of divorce. For some couples, this is true, and mediation can enable them to quickly and effectively negotiate the specifics of their separation agreement. However, some divorces cannot be resolved this way. A Metro East, IL, divorce attorney can talk through your family’s situation to determine what might be the right way to resolve it.
Mediation has some downsides, including only reaching a resolution when both spouses agree and not providing legal protections in certain situations. It’s important to be aware of signs in your marriage or at the beginning of the negotiation process that hint mediation is the wrong method for your divorce.
Signs That Mediation Isn’t Right for Your Divorce
Divorce mediation has benefits, but these benefits are unlikely to apply to couples who cannot work together through the process. There are many reasons that divorce mediation may not be the right option for spouses going through a divorce. They may include:
- Hidden assets. Divorce includes the exchanging of financial and asset information to determine what fair property division and support would look like. If either spouse hides separate or marital assets from this process, the other spouse can end up with significantly less than they deserve.
Mediation has fewer options for discovering hidden assets. If your divorce is litigated or contested, then the court requires a formal discovery process, which has more options for uncovering hidden assets. - High conflict. Conflict is often part of a divorce, but if you and your spouse cannot functionally communicate, mediation is unlikely to help. It can make the mediation process take significantly longer, and other methods of resolution may be faster and less stressful.
- Child custody disputes. If couples disagree significantly about child custody, mediation may not be able to resolve it. Disagreements about the specifics of a parenting plan are possible to negotiate, but if parents do not even agree on who should have custody, then attorneys or the court may need more active roles in the process.
- Complex finances. When one or both spouses have high-value or complicated finances, more financial professionals are needed to navigate the divorce. This may include professional asset evaluators, forensic accountants, and other professionals. These steps are typically more complex than mediation can manage.
- Unfair negotiations. If either spouse has more power than the other in negotiations, mediation becomes unfair. This power may include more financial resources, more knowledge of marital and separate assets, or even emotional manipulation and abuse.
- Uncooperative spouse. Spouses have to be able to reach resolutions and compromise when they do not agree. If your spouse refuses to compromise on anything, does not want to discuss important matters, or is purposefully trying to lengthen the mediation process, mediation may not be helpful in resolving your divorce.
- Coercive spouse and unfair requests. When the other party is making unreasonable demands or is incredibly controlling and coercive during the process of negotiation, mediation may not protect your rights and interests. In litigation, the court will not accept requests for custody or financial support that are unfair to one spouse.
- Domestic violence and abuse. If you or your children are victims of domestic violence and are in danger from your spouse, mediation is not appropriate to resolve your divorce. Litigating your divorce will give you more legal protection and options to safeguard your family’s well-being. Domestic violence may include emotional abuse, financial abuse, or physical abuse.
Even if mediation is not right for your divorce, this may not automatically mean litigation is necessary. There are other options for alternative dispute resolution, including a collaborative divorce.
However, in cases where you or your children are in genuine danger from your spouse or a spouse is continuing to drag out the process and refusing to reach a resolution, litigation may be required. Going to court can help you get legal protection for your family or simply ensure that a resolution is reached.
FAQs
Q: When Should You Not Use Divorce Mediation?
A: You may not want to use divorce mediation as the method to resolve your divorce if:
- Spouses are unwilling to budge on any part of the separation agreement.
- Spouses are in high conflict.
- Either party is controlling or has more power and knowledge in negotiations.
- Spouses have unbalanced knowledge of marital assets.
- One party is hiding marital assets.
- One party is abusive.
Divorce mediation is not the only out-of-court option to resolve a divorce, although litigation may be the right way to protect yourself in some of these cases.
Q: What Are the Three Disadvantages of Divorce Mediation?
A: Three potential disadvantages to divorce mediation are:
- Mediators cannot give legal advice or advocate for one party over the other. They must be impartial and help discussions proceed.
- Mediation is not possible as a resolution method if spouses cannot communicate with each other, cannot stop arguing, or refuse to make any compromises.
- Mediation without a knowledgeable or completely impartial mediator can result in a separation agreement that is unfair and puts a spouse in financial or personal hardship.
Q: How Do You Negotiate During Divorce Mediation?
A: When you are negotiating during divorce mediation, some useful tips include:
- Keep open and respectful communication. A successful negotiation requires both spouses to make an effort to work together toward a common goal, and this is easier when spouses are as amiable as possible and keep arguments out of discussions.
- Determine what you are and are not willing to compromise on. You must be willing to compromise for negotiations to succeed but determine beforehand what areas this is possible in.
- Don’t conceal information. Concealing financial information in divorce could be illegal.
Q: How Does Divorce Mediation Work in Illinois?
A: Divorce mediation in Illinois is a negotiation process where spouses determine the crucial parts of their divorce, with the oversight of a third-party mediator. Each spouse may have their own attorney during mediation.
Mediation has the benefit of giving spouses more control and allowing them to be at the forefront of decisions about property division, maintenance, and child custody, among other decisions. When couples have a separation agreement that they approve of, they can submit it to the court.
Contact Stange Law Firm in Belleville and Edwardsville
Divorces are unique for every couple, and it’s crucial that you find the right method to make the process easier on yourself and your family while ensuring the protection of your rights. Contact Stange Law Firm today.
